Oh, where to begin. First off, it was bloody HILARIOUS I shit you not.

English Lit:
Me and my mum looked all the shit and depressing books and poetry, and in there was one rose amongst the thorns; Pope, Rape of the Lock. Of course the English lecturers didn't find our laughter at the use of the word "rape" and "pope" in close proximity particularly amusing, so amidst their glares we quickly left.

Then we wandered around and got a bit lost, before getting to...

Art:
It was boring, what can I say. In the room with the big easels with canvases on, my mum was wearing her dark glasses and nearly knocked a whole load of them over and talked very loudly about how "no one did art that actually looked like anything any more." Also, the reason she was wearing dark glasses is because people kept giving her shit to read, and her normals are broken. So she was walking around in the dark wearing her shades like some loon or guido or something.

ICT:
OH GOD THE PIECE DE RESISTANCE. First of all, we were accosted in the first room by a man who LITERALLY had the voice of a child molester. For the first half a minute or so of his talk at us, we had NO indication that he even worked there. He was this weird, beardy grey haired man with a pony tail and a creepy voice. BUT THAT'S NOT EVEN THE BEST BIT. THERE IS A WOMAN SO, SO STUPID, THAT I MUST DEVOTE A WHOLE PARAGRAPH TO HER. THIS ONE'S FOR YOU, STUPID ICT LADY.

So we walk into this room, she asks how she can help us. She looks at me expectantly and asks what i'd be planning to take at this college. I said nothing really, because I have no intention of going there. I tell her where i'd rather go. Her facial expression changes to one I can't quite describe. Judgemental. Worried. Scheming. She starts to tell me about how the course at BCOT I want to take has problems with lecturers and how SHE SHOULD KNOW BECAUSE SHE TOTALLY WORKED THERE FOR 14 YEARS YUHUH GUYS. After this conversation, me and my mum quickly decerned that it was likely she got fired. She starts to talk about how Basingstoke is a cold, harsh place and all the kids are likely to knife me if I even look at them wrong. She uses the argument that, and I quote "BCOT has a much looser schedule, you'll only really need to spend about 2 and a half days there per week. Here you have to come in every day." THIS. THIS IS SUCH A GREAT ARGUMENT. YOU'VE CHANGED MY MIND, THIS SCHEDULE GIVES ME SUCH FREEDOM. She says how, if I go to BCOT, I won't have any friends there. Or ever. And if I do make friends, I won't be able to hang out with them because they don't live near me so i'll have no social life. As if when I leave this school, it's actually illegal for me to see my friends that live near me. She then says that in Winter on those cold, lonely nights, it's 100% likely that i'll be raped or stabbed on the way to the bus because it will be dark which obviously renders me blind and defenseless. She then says that if I go to Alton I can do all this great stuff like BUSINESS STUDIES and ENGINEERING, as if this will make me give up my eleven year aspiration to do something in the games industry. She says I can do games in university. Why do it later and have to pay loads of money on uni if I could just do it now, you dumb freak? She then turns to my mum and talks about how she should be worried about me getting killed while i'm at BCOT. During this whole talk, we've tried our best not to say that my sister went there and this woman is obviously crazy. Then I see Chloe out of the corner of my eye laughing at me. Probably my expression. I end up laughing too. While this woman is talking at me. FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER, this strange woman FINALLY leaves us alone.

By this time, we just wanna get the hell outta there.

There we go guys.

At least I got a good story out of it.